let’s reply step by step:
I don’t owe you anything
Apparently, nobody owes anyone anything. And this is a valid reason for doing and saying whatever you want. And defending your behaviors. Especially if you’re “right” and have all the proper arguments and reasonings.
Maybe I don’t owe anyone anything. But I owe myself.
I owe myself the respect of treating people the way I want to be treated.
I owe myself the open mind and ears and heart I want others to have.
I owe myself the love I want others to have and to give.
I owe myself the belief that kindness is not weakness. Listening is not giving in. And being radical for the sake of it is not strength.
Q:You put into words how I feel about the situation. I feel like these are conversations we should be having but to be angry at someone is not the way. She could have been more respectful as well as have more perspective. idk but yeah you put it in more of an eloquent way. I have sleep exhaustion right now & everything is coming out weird. Wanted to say hi & hope she read your comment. Plus, he could have been rude to her. Not invited a chat. For her to continue to be upset is arrg. idk.
Thank you. I hear what you’re saying. And I am glad that Mr. Leto chose to respond the way he did.
[image: a screenshot of an ask from a tumblr user orbit-complete. text: “You said you were going to “confront a transmisogynist” and tagged Jared leto - is he who you meant? Why do you think he is one? How did it go? Can you reply this privately to make sure I get it too, I would really appreciate it, thanks :)]
(So I received a very kind ask from someone yesterday about my experience speaking to Jared Leto. This was my response - if anyone else has the nerve.)
Jared Leto played a trans woman character (Rayon) in the movie the Dallas Buyers Club. Trans women are consistently portrayed by cis people, especially men. This correlation misgenders trans women, as Laverne Cos said, “When a person calls a trans woman a man, it is an act of violence”. Trans women are consistently murdered for their denial of womanhood and humanity. Even when cis women portray trans women, it removes the opportunity for accurate, self-representation. Women should play the roles of women, and trans women should play trans women. This is not to “segregate the roles”, but to discontinue the gross effeminate stereotypes that are perpetuated by cis actors.
Therefore, Jared Leto is complicit in this role. Whether or not he thinks he played Rayon honorable, with research, or with good intentions. He is still perpetuating this cycle of transmisogyny.
The confrontation actually went okay. Better than I expected. My friends and I yelled at him from the audience because he was being interviewed on stage in a large theater, and we were close enough for him to hear. I said he didn’t deserve to play Rayon, nor to receive an award for the role. He invited my friends and I to speak with him after the show. My friend (a 19 yr old trans girl) expressed to him her critique of the movie’s portrayal of Rayon, and how she felt disrespected by his performance. We also mentioned that he should humble himself, and honor the experiences of those who are living, and those who have been murdered for future award ceremonies.
I won’t go into great detail about his response, I have it on video. What I will say is that he tried to defend himself naively, chalking it up to the time period, and his conversations with trans people prior to the film.
Basically, he still doesn’t have a clue what it’s like to be transgender, and acknowledges that while going ahead anyway. Like most people who’re called out, except he’s getting awarded, and making money.
Hope that answers your question. At the moment we’re working with the press to make sure the story is told with all of this as context.
I am only reblogging this because I believe these conversations are important. Unfortunately, this is a great example of how NOT to have them. Nothing is ever this cut and dry.
If you want to educate people and have meaningful conversations, yelling at someone from a crowd in a disrespectful manner is a surefire way of getting people to automatically want to disregard what you’re saying. It’s immature, rude and attacking.
If you want to have productive conversations and learnings with other people, it also helps to know where they are coming from. Standing in your ivory tower of Queer Theory or Trans Theory throwing academia terms at people only serves to make people think you are entitled or “holier than thou”. Those types of conversations may be fine with other people well versed in theory, but the practical world and applications are a different story.
True educational dialogue comes from well meaning people on both sides wanting to improve the human condition and the world we live in. Not from blinding attacks or trying to prove someone wrong.
The bravest thing I ever did was continuing my life when I wanted to die.
If your suicidal and still alive, I’m so fucking proud of you.
If your suffering from an eating disorder and still eating, I’m so fucking proud of you.
If your suffering from a mental illness and your fighting, I’m so. Fucking. Proud. Of. You.